The issue of control is one of the toughest battles we face as Christians. As human beings, our nature is to grab control of the aspects of our life that appear awry. However, when walk with Christ, we must give up that need and replace it with trust. We must trust that Father God, is bringing us to an expected end. To grow in faith and strengthen our walk, follow these 3 steps and concepts:

1. You can not change the past, no matter how hard you try. You can't rewrite history. There are things that we all have done, in Christ and out of Christ, that are shameful. Living in the past can cause death to your present and future. You must accept the past for what it is: gone, over, finished. You can not allow yourself or anyone to bring up the negatives of your past as a weapon to tarnish the person that Christ has established today. The old man has passed away, and behold all things...all things...all things [within you] are made new. - 2 Corinthians 5:17
   
   
2. Forgive and move on. It is your duty, as a follower of Christ to forgive and pray for those that harm, hurt, and despitefully misuse you - Matthew 5:44. However, you have no control over people forgiving you. You must accept the fact, although it may hurt, if someone chooses to not forgive your imperfection or act of ill will. Cleanse yourself, ask for forgiveness from the Father, and the individual. Once you have done that, if said person chooses not to forgive, your hands are now clean and the "ball" is in their court to do what is right in the eye of God, and that is to forgive. You can not chase behind a person, begging approval, forgiveness and favor. You can not allow guilt to rise up in your spirit and cause you to waiver in your walk.
   
3. Control your spirit and your tongue. Isn't this a doozy? How hard is it for you to walk away from a situation that disturbs you without adding your two cents? For me, this was super hard. I always wanted to fight my own battles. I always wanted to get my point across and let the culprit have it. Tisk, tisk, tisk. This is not the system of the kingdom. Let go and let God. The Lord will fight your battles. - 2 Chronicles 20:17. This is what we are taught and should adhere to. Your teeny, tiny tongue is unruly and hard to tame (James 3:8), but we must bridle it, because it is powerful. Your tongue is so powerful, it holds [the power] of life and death (Proverbs 18:21); therefore, careful what you say, because it cannot be retracted. When you feel pushed to the max, and feel as if you must go to battle, do it in prayer. 
   

          Watch your spirit and refrain from disobedience. A person that can't control his spirit is like a city
          with no walls. - Proverbs 25:28  Do not place your spirit in environments or situations that are
          corrupt, giving way to evil; allowing your good works to be spoken evil of.


Incorporate these steps into your daily walk and watch your walk with Christ be strengthened. Your spirit will be refreshed, and you will learn to trust and depend on Jesus for all things.